This Blog is Offically A Lie…

Yep… Little did I know when I started this blog, that one of the adjectives that I once used to describe myself with (VIRGIN) would no longer be relevant 3 months later. That’s right… I have finally had sex!

And OMG it was great!

The night was not planned to end this way, in fact I wasn’t even planning on seeing my boyfriend that night. I was just going to go to work and then home, but instead a co-worker invited me to a bar after work and I said sure. I called up my boy to see if he wanted to meet me and he did. We had a few drinks until the bar closed at 2am. Neither of us were drunk, in fact, I didn’t even feel the effects of the drinks. We went back to his place and for once the roommates were not there, and they would not be back for the entire night (and again, this was not planned). When I found this out, I did think ‘tonight would be the perfect night to lose my virginity because we wouldn’t have to hold back and be as loud as we want.’

He opened his computer when we got to his room, thinking we would watch something before going to bed. I sat down and we started making out and within a few minutes the lights were off, door shut and computer off. We did our usual touching each other, undressing each other and rolling around in the bed. After a little while of this and myself pretty wet, I asked him about the condoms I knew he bought a week or two back. He asked me “Do you want to?” and I replied with “Yes”

He got up and grabbed a condom, while I took off the few remaining clothes I had on, and then took off the rest of his. He slipped on the condom and asked “How do you want to start?” I said I wanted him on top. I wasn’t ready to be on top myself since I really didn’t know what I was doing and I’d prefer to be on my back relaxing for penetration.  We kissed a few seconds longer and then I said “I’m gonna be nervous” and he replied with “Me too” (which, somehow made me relax a little bit). We flipped over, he laid me on my back  and there it was, within a split second I was no longer a virgin.

He went slow at first, he asked me if I felt okay, and I did. It didn’t hurt much for me, in fact I don’t remember it hurting really at all. It was just a different sensation then anything I had ever felt before. He put one of my legs on his shoulder, and then eventually the other leg as well. He changed speeds often and I let him go as deep and as fast as he wanted, for he wasn’t hurting me and I loved the feeling. I tried moving with him and my hands running up and down him and kissing him. We then tried it with me on top, and I wasn’t as sure what to do here but I tried my best. Eventually he sat up and we went at it like that, then he even stood up and walked to the wall and we fucked up against the wall (which by the way, was my favorite). We made our way back to the bed, he asked me if there was any positions I wanted to try, I said ‘no’ because I really couldn’t think of anything. We then fucked laying down, he was smacking my ass and grabbing my hair. My mouth kept getting so dry as I was breathing so fast. And then we did it again with him on top and then my legs back up on his shoulders again. At one point he said he was thinking about how he wanted to finish and inferred he was thinking either cuming on me or with a blowjob. And even though I didn’t say anything I was thinking ‘why doesn’t he just finish in the condom while still inside me?’ We kept going at it and sat up again this time with him sitting at the edge of the bed and me leaning back with my legs wrapped around him and he is holding my hands behind my back. We kept going at it at this position until he finished.

We stopped, he asked me if I was Okay and I was. We sat there for a few seconds trying to catch our breath and than he said ‘We should have timed that, do you know how long that was?” I said I didn’t know, but after the fact I figured out from the first kiss to that moment was an hour and 15 minutes and there was a lot more fucking then kissing in that time. He went up to the bathroom and then myself (I saw no bleeding) and we both got water to drink. When we got back to his room I found out the reason he was saying earlier if he should finish by cuming on me or a blowjob is because in his past sexual life he has never been able to finish inside a girl before. He said it was usually an awkward ending but this time it wasn’t. I’m not sure if it should have, but that fact made me happy, that our first time having sex, he was able to finish in me (with his condom on).

We laid back down, watched the show on his computer like originally planned, then went to sleep. I think it was a pretty good first time ;)

SEX

Good God I Want Sex.

There’s not much to say for this post, but I Want Sex.

I don’t know how I know but a week or so ago after I left my boyfriend’s house, I knew that night that I am ready to give him my virginity. I don’t know what was different about that night, maybe the way he kissed me, held my hand, looked at me, something… whatever it was I am sure. And even though that was a week ago, I am still a virgin. Problem being we both live with family members, so no time to be alone.

At the age of 24, I’ve finally found a guy I am willing to have sex with, and am confident that if for some reason we find we aren’t made for each other and break up, I will still be okay with him being my first.

Soon…

I need this.

Gave my First Blow Job

5 years ago I would have told you ‘I don’t want to put a guys penis in my mouth, gross!’ I’d probably give a hand job, but I’d never imagine wanting to or enjoying putting a guys manhood in my mouth. But that is exactly what has happened – I want to and am enjoying every moment of it.

The first time I ever had my lips to his member was short and sweet. We were in an awkward place and so it made for not much action. It only lasted a few minutes, if even, and then we went back to kissing. The second time, we had a bed and I could really go at it. I had been playing with his penis for a while with my hand and he was giving me pleasure with his hand as well. I worked my way from his mouth, to neck, to stomach, and then to the gold. I was really into it, really enthusiastic and excited to please him. Everything I was doing came naturally and he defiantly wasn’t complaining. I didn’t even think about how good I was or if he was enjoying it, I was just having fun. While my hair was up, some pieces still got in the way, and each time I would fix my hair I would look up at him for a second before returning to my work. I got him moaning, saying ‘fuck’ and ‘oh my god’ and even slamming the bed a few times (which he later said he had never done before, but that it meant I was doing something right). Every once in a while I would take the extra effort and go down on him as far as I could and every time I got a response (a moan) that pleased me ( I love to know that I have that control over him ). I didn’t stick with one move for very long at all, my tongue was everywhere, swirling around, going up and down his shaft and around his balls. My hands were just the same, sometimes using one or both hands and at the same time my mouth as well. When I was using just one hand, he would sometimes grab my other hand and hold it for a moment.

The whole thing was exhilarating. I’ve done both not catching and catching then swallowing it in my mouth. And personally, while the taste isn’t the greatest, it’s not the worst either and so if it makes him happy, I have no problem swallowing. I left him out of breath and he even said after a few minutes after I was done, ‘why am I still out of breath,’ again that made me smile and thinking I must have done something right. I didn’t expect it but was more than pleased when I knew I had given good head. For this being my first time and not knowing what I was doing, my confidence in this field is now through the roof. He told me it was amazing and that I got him excited in ways he had never been before (which really pleased me). Now I want nothing more than to look up techniques to make next time  even better and to change things up a bit. So lets just say, giving head to my boyfriend is a new hobby of mine.

Matching Underwear

For years I have always wanted matching underwear, and while I could have easily go out and bought some as I have a job and can afford them, I never did buy any, until now. I finally have a good reason to buy them as I have someone to share them with (much more fun). I think my sex drive is finally coming out. I am looking for the skimpiest, lacy, sexy pieces I can find.

New bras, thongs, and even sleep-wear. Too much fun! I find myself going in my room, grabbing a matching set, putting them on and look at the amazingness that is my body. I imagine him looking at me, at him taking them off. They make me feel so sexy and while there are still parts of my body I feel could be better, I still feel pretty confident in the little pieces I got.

While I’m sure he will like the matching underwear, I know he wouldn’t kick me out if it wasn’t matching, it is still fun to have and it makes me feel more confident. I just want to whisper in his ear ‘I’m wearing some small matching underwear.’

How I Used to Think I Wouldn’t Want It

I used to be worried that I just wasn’t going to be into sex, that it would be something that would come naturally. It seemed like all the guys I’ve ever dated kissing them was just something I did but it wasn’t something I longed for. I enjoyed it but was fine if it didn’t happen either. When guys would get a bit touchy-feely with me, I would either move their hand or not let it last that long. I didn’t like it, and I didn’t want them to touch me like that. And I felt no need to touch them…

I’m so glad that I have finally realized that this is not the case… that I’m not going to be having sex and ‘just be okay’ with it. That kissing, touching, grabbing, all of it, is something I want and long for. I finally found a man that makes me want to take off my clothes, I want him to put his hand down my pants, and mine down his.

I know this sounds ridiculous to most of you, but for me this feeling has never happened until now. I don’t have these feelings toward any man who walks my way, but only with someone special, that makes me feel special. When I think about him, I get shivers. I found a guy I want to be with and I find that incredible.

How To Tell Her That’s Okay

So I finally told him I was a virgin. I have never told a guy that before, because frankly, I’ve never wanted to sleep with anyone before. I didn’t say it in so many words as I had planed and telling him didn’t come out too smoothly but here is a little recap.

Him: I have the place to myself next week.
*Smiles* *Kisses* – a minute later
Me: So I haven’t dated much, in high school and college I was really self-conscious and insecure
Him: Why?
Me: I just was and so because of it I never really dated, so I don’t really know what I’m doing. So I’ve never had sex before. (and yea, I kept saying ‘so’ a lot, lol, I was nervous)
Him: Okay
Me: I know your thinking about it, and I am too, I just need some time
Him: We can take it slow
Me: Is that okay?
Him: Yea, why wouldn’t it be?
Me: I don’t know, but some guys aren’t into it
Him: It’s okay. And I’m not very experienced either
*Kisses* – few minutes later
Him: Do you regret telling me?
Me: No
Him: I’m glad you told me, my last relationship we weren’t very open about things like that
Me: Communication… But a sleepover would be nice :)

So while that may not be exactly how it happened and maybe not in that exact order, it did go something like that and he made me smile with his response. I was so happy he was okay with it. I told him later that night as we parted ways that ‘this was something no one knows about me and that I would like to keep it that way’, and he responded with ‘I would never gossip about that’, and while I figured he wouldn’t tell anyone, I still needed to say it out loud.

I loved his response, saying that “it’s okay”, “we can take it slow”, and “I’m happy you told me” were all things that I was glad to hear and made me happy I told him and more confident that he is the guy I want to give my virginity too.
P.S. Then I gave him a hand job… (first one ever)

How to Tell Him You’re a Virgin

This is something I have been trying to figure out. I am currently dating someone who I want to be with. I know he is thinking about it and so am I. I have a policy that I’ve had since high school that now and forever, I am only sleeping with someone if he is my boyfriend (or more). I want to tell this guy soon that I am a virgin and that even though I want to have sex with him, I’m not ready yet…

I’d searched long and hard over the internet to get advice and see what people say on how to approach this and I am surprised by some of the opinions. Such as “tell him right as he is about to stick it in” or ” tell him when your naked” “don’t tell him at all” or “tell him afterwards”.  All of which is advice I will not be taking. The advice that I prefer and the advice that I will be taking is more like “tell him when your both alone just talking.”

This is how I plan on telling the guy when it’s just him and I and when we are just talking (and not making out) to ask him what he used to be like in high school and college. After he says what he was like, I will tell him what I was like. I was shy and insecure, very scared of what people thought of me and only in the last year has that all changed, and that because of all of that my dating life was next to nothing and so I have never had sex before. I want to tell him that I am thinking about him in regards to sex and that I know he is thinking about it and so am I. I will tell him that I need to take things a little slow and I hope that he is the great guy I think he is and be okay with all of that. If he is not, then oh well… that’s why I am telling him now, so that if he is not cool with it he (and I) can get out now before things get too serious.

I am nervous to tell him, I have gone over and over again how I’m going to say it, the points I want to hit and I’m just hoping for a good response from him. I’m surprised by the amount of guys that are put off by virgins. What’s the big deal really? So you are going to be the only person that has ever fucked me, and you find fault in that? I think it would be amazing to know that my guy has only been with me and no one else (though I already know the guy I’m dating is not a virgin).

p.s. if things keep going the way it is, I don’t know how much longer this Virgin blog is going to last :)

People Make Virginity a Bigger Thing Than It Is

For someone who is writing a whole blog just about virginity, you would think that I think of virginity as a big deal. And while in some respects I do, ( I’ve had plenty of opportunities to change my virginity status ), it shouldn’t be something that defines you. For once you have sex, are you not still the same person? Virginity in my eyes is not a big deal, I’m a virgin, so what? That means what in terms of who I am? I would still be the same person if I had said yes when asked if I wanted to take this into the bedroom.

Getting the title of non-virgin or an expeienced-girl (or guy) is not something earned, it’s a split second when two people interlock. It’s not like a college degree that was worked towards for years. Virgin to non-virgin – not a big deal. I’m a virgin – so what, my friends not a virgin – so what? No biggy.

I don’t know where I am going with this, but just know that if you are a virgin and are worried about it or hate the fact that you are, please don’t worry about it, it’s alright. I used to cry because I was still a virgin and I thought no one would ever love me and that my virgin status would be forever. I hated it. But I have finally realized it doesn’t matter, really, it doesn’t. I’m still a great person and maybe even a special person because I still am a virgin, I’m a minority at my age (23), and that’s kinda cool. Just love who you are and don’t think that just because you are out society’s norm makes you something to be looked at weird. If your a virgin, that’s cool. If you’ve had sex, that’s cool too.

p.s. – I’m not religious so I am not talking about virginity in terms of religion, for I understand that staying pure for religious reason is a big deal to some people.